35+ of the Freshest and Funniest Tweets of the Week (November 8, 2025)

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  • 01
    joji @jojipaints my coworker said "bequeefed" instead of "bequeathed" on a company-wide call and I...I just... I've never been happier 9:14 AM 10/23/25 1.6M Views • . 158 17 4.4K 120K ☐ 3.3K ↑
  • 02
    sam @sam_niac taking screenshots of the screenshots buried in my photo library to "bring them to the front". It's not a great system, I admit. 11:48 AM 11/1/25 1.5M Views 461 14K 108K 3.8K ↑
  • 03
    The Nostalgia Queen ❤ @Snow_Blacck Naw this costume got me CRYINGGGG HELLO MY NAME IS Tso
  • 04
    K @kourtneyinhell husband walking around the house singing Radioactive by Imagine Dragons for some reason but he's saying "ready for action, ready for action" so I yelled IT'S RADIOACTIVE THE SONG IS RADIOACTIVE and he stopped and quietly said "you dont know. You've never imagined a single dragon" 7:30 PM 10/28/25 1.7M Views • 194 17 3.6K 87K 2.9K ↑
  • 05
    jack friks @jackfriks i made an app to send love notes to your partner and its getting used as a grocery list reminder Shyjal @shyjal.2d It starts with love notes. Then life kicks in. x.com/ jackfriks/stat... Milk Eggs - Bread - Pasta - Tomatoes - Coffee leveles AM EX Ovone Mart 1PREEWerd Mex CA Ads Manager TMTO CoLX Water Q Search
  • 06
    Nwunye Chairmo @AnthoniaUmoke I got called into a meeting with HR today cause apparently telling my coworker that I knew he was a C-section baby by the way he avoids labour is not acceptable in the workplace. . 11:15 AM 10/30/25 2.5M Views 887 10K 122K ☐ 6.3K
  • 07
    mariana Z @mariana057 Please pray for my daughter who had to empty the dishwasher when she "just did this yesterday and she's tired." 5:11 PM 11/1/25 · 1.4M Views Q 3.1K 173K 76K 782 企
  • 08
    Mark @AgingRanchHand Uber sends notifications like "hey want to take an Uber right now?" No thanks, buddy. It's more for when I need to go somewhere 8:34 AM 10/29/25 1M Views 66 3.8K 99K 1K ↑
  • 09
    Bhumika @sankii_memer Flirting peaked here Why should I date you? 2:09 pm Cuz I play chess 2:09 pm So what?? 2:09 pm 吕品 I know how to protect my queen 5:01 AM 10/27/25 5.2M Views 953 1 16K 2:10 pm 196K 13K ↑
  • 10
    park @REDRAGEOUSED i Love reading fanfiction where the author is clearly like 15 years old and has zero clue how college works it makes me so happy. fym the bell rang 1:49 AM 11/1/25 10M Views 389 20K 330K ☐ 9.7K ↑
  • 11
    river moon @kissmeriver eating 5 pounds of missing people meat is insane send him to the chair actually O Howard Betta @Gaige_returns. 2d Lock this guy up IMMEDIATELY Arb C
  • 12
    devin @fartpog People are hating on things never hated before harky @theharkyp.2d I dont care how cold it is please dont do this around me 8:26 PM 11/1/25 2.6M Views • 195 12K 204K ☐ 2.1K ↑
  • 13
    rileyTS @lightsgowild some kid just rang my doorbell and he was dressed as a hotdog and he just stared at me and i stared at him and his mom from the sidewalk goes "did you say trick or treat??" and he goes "hotdog!" • 8:31 PM 10/31/25 1M Views → 77 12.9K 95K 1.7K ↑
  • 14
    Ada Chief @Being_Adaa In Shrek 2 the guards grind pepper directly on Shrek's eyes since pepper spray had yet to exist cinesthetic. @TheCinesthetic. 2d What's a small detail in a movie that most people wouldn't notice, but that you know about and are willing to share? 5:40 AM 10/31/25.5M Views 376 17 20K 235K ☐ 5.7K 企
  • 15
    Sesame Chiccen @Loccdawggg This is what it feels like getting picked last at P.E. Nubble @Nubblenubble. 5d The fuck?? Hinge H shayla: man fuck it shayla matched with you! • 1:29 AM 10/29/25 5.3M Views • 131 178K Show less X 6m ago 6m ago 199K 4.6K ↑
  • 16
    00 Sickos Committee @SickosCommittee When your teacher leaves the answers on the board WASHBURNE S SHO O Chris Vannini @ChrisVannini · 6h GERALD J.FORD STADIUM 0 George W. Bush Stadium U What is the name of SMU's football stadium? George H.W Bush Stadium 42:16 John F. Kennedy Stadium Gerald J. Ford Stadium 00:15 DOWN TO GO BALL ON 1 10 25 care that tops the leaderboard children's health? 11:35 AM 11/1/25 383K Views 11 253 8K 193 企
  • 17
    rick AND Trea. Glenn Diagram ❤ @GlennAndTonic Watching my wife absolutely hate my daughter's boyfriend while being nice and hospitable to him has made me question every interaction I've had with another human being in my life. • 11:54 PM 10/30/25 3.3M Views 889 14.9K 130K ☐ 6.4K ↑
  • 18
    a @aallleeexxxXXX1 i can't stop laughing at this message i just got from my doordash driver Alex, my ETA is 16 minutes. Is there something special about this taco. place dessert that made you order so far away for it? I live near this restaurant and if it's really special I'll go in and eat there. Received 1 min ago 8:10 PM - 10/30/25 4.8M Views 198 17 4K 226K ☐ 5.3K
  • 19
    WiLL @willfulchaos the alphabet finding out that a number won "word of the year" CC * Pop Base @PopBase - 1d Dictionary.com names '67' as the 2025 Word of the Year. Dictionary.com
  • 20
    Løri @haylsho Due to global warming, Mariah Carey unfroze quicker this year. This is why we need to save the planet. POP Pop Crave CRAVE @PopCrave. 2d "All I Want For Christmas Is You" by Mariah Carey returned to 500K daily Spotify streams on Saturday, October 25th. ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS YOU ariah M® arey 10:27 AM 10/28/25 2.8M Views 169 17 30K 212K ☐ 3.6K ↑
  • 21
    *Sovereign @sauvamemte This would end influencing in the United States as we know it Polymarket @Polymarket -1d BREAKING: Chinese influencers now required to hold university degree to discuss serious topics - or face a ¥100,000 fine. . 12:57 AM 10/28/25 2M Views 299 19.7K 93K 1.6K ↑
  • 22
    Max Mannis Ciocca Auto Max Mannis @MaxMannis These kids got to spend a school day watching baseball from 9 AM until 3:50 PM. The dream. MLB @MLB. 20h Shohei Ohtani's hometown of Oshu, Japan is having a #WorldSeries watch party! A FOX Worl SERIES TIE Gedgers 3:00 AM 10/28/25.953K Views 吕
  • 23
    inge @ikninge wdym i can't enter the exam venue without my student card why tf would i come write quantitative analysis for vibes at 8 in the morning • 2:46 PM 10/26/25 1.2M Views 160 17.1K 89K ☐ 1.9K
  • 24
    FinestDov£ @fficial• @HOLARMEEDEY1 Children always look for every opportunity to return to God * Ayilola of Nigeria /Ogbonge doc... 1d Please, I have a genuine question, what exactly is it with children and electric sockets? 1:38 AM 11/2/25 1.4M Views 466 17 9.2K 69K 1.4K 企
  • 25
    Fløki @Dee_Floki When my friend motivates me... Don't be sad ok 6:45 PM Sad is for losers 6:45 PM We're not losers 6:45 PM We're worse than that 6:45 PM eMessage . 5:26 AM 10/28/25 4.2M Views 956 42K 230K ☐
  • 26
    @sihoorain lowkey wanna fall in love but monday to friday is work, saturday is laundry, sunday is mental prep for monday. the butterflies in my stomach is actually decomposing 2:13 AM 11/3/25 1.2M Views 151 15K 90K 4.7K 企
  • 27
    6ix⭑ @_de_6ixstar animals are so crazy because why is your mom only one year older than you? 1:15 PM 11/2/25.4M Views 340 t 14K 273K ☐ 4.7K ↑
  • 28
    Big Choctaw @Derekalexander_ no noise november. everyone shut up 12:20 AM 11/2/25 2.8M Views 141 17 48K 158K ☐ 3.
  • 29
    zantae @DeathAngelUSA Stev is one of my favorite accounts because he's self admittedly just a dad with an iPhone but he has the composition skills of a visionary film director Stev @LoschbourStev⚫2d 7:11 PM 10/30/25 10M Views 165 17 9.5K REEK FUMEKIN FALM 311K ☐ 21K 企
  • 30
    Laroi Esq.◇ @fwlaroiski I fainted at work yesterday, when I woke up the lady that was helping me said "I'm really sorry but I took off your hijab, do you want me to put it back on" 2000 I was wearing a Durag • 2:03 PM 10/30/25 3.6M Views 876 19.3K 166K 4.5K 企
  • 31
    banx @bankolewya Not gonna say what I'm thinking cause I don't wanna be startin somethin Redd IRIS @ReddCinema.2d Blame it on the boogie 4:25 PM 10/31/25 6.8M Views 2.4K 110K 148K ☐ 5.2K 企
  • 32
    AmaLee W @LeeandLie Monarëh FAF > I beg your finest pardon - Vola @magic_aura. 4d Get yourself an older woman born between 1998-2001 and settle down. 1:17 PM 11/2/25 2.2M Views 645 176.9K 113K ☐ 2.8K ↑
  • 33
    vx-underground ❤ @vxunderground wHats a GooD pAssWorD mAnAgeR I store all my passwords in a text file called "passwords" and if someone successfully gets access to that file then I'm going to kill myself That's my security model 9:09 PM 11/1/25 742K Views • 370 12.6K 47K 1.5K
  • 34
    @sillylilkimmy people who ask "can I call you" are soo sweet. like obviously you cannot but so sweet • 1:04 PM 11/1/25 1.4M Views • 145 15K 110K ☐ 3.4K
  • 35
    lan 2 @Ianiiii Don't be the guy that speaks too much sense and hasn't done anything with his life . 8:59 AM 11/1/25 1.3M Views 373 17 8K 60K ☐ 7.9K ↑
  • 36
    sparkleboob @baysueb so many kids chose potatoes over candy i ran out of potatoes Christopher Long @the_real_clong. 1d Someone gave my daughter a literal potato tonight. I ain't even mad QUICK BOIL SHELTER Butterfi Milk 6:05 PM 11/1/25 2.1M Views 96 173.2K HARIBO SNICKERS O START R B D Ap The kep Original 131K 1.6K ↑
  • 37
    Definitely Nick ❤ @other_st_nick Hired a financial advisor and his first piece of advice was that I don't make nearly enough money to justify paying a financial advisor 7:54 AM 11/3/25 1.3M Views 194 1.4K 51K ☐ 972

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